Processing the pain is a choice from your conscious mind, not always a choice you're ready for, but at some point, one, or something, must be accountable for all the weary dreams that feel as if they are unsurmountable.
Driving shots of adrenaline will always be a part of dealing what's always lying within. To feel alive, sometimes you need to take your self much closer to death, so close you feel the Grim Reaper standing behind you and you feel his breath.
You may recognize that you're alive, but why? Why are the best ones to die? Is it a lesson that they can lastly teach, in order for you to always take that extra reach?
Your blood pressure pounds the closer you are to death, but it will in fact remind you that you are alive. And there's always something else left in the world worth your strive.
After the job is done you're sent home to battle the inner demons and political bureaucracy, and biased views of your peers and your community. How is it that the same community you fight and hurt for, can discard us like a slab of beef right into the dirty shore?
Are they pushing to find the dirty-dirty?
When they meet it, it truly isn't glamourous or purty.
Fathers and Mothers depend on us to protect their sons and daughters -- returning home they act to say, "Why bother?"