The Famigerate

Stars falling... Fear dropping... Light passes through. Energy wasted... Time useless... Light passes through. Generations lost... Civilizations found... Light passes through. Stamina gained... Lives restrained... Light passes through. Enemies are loathed... Clocks are dusted... Light passes through. Lifeless at the hilt... Bearing no line of sight... Light passes through. ---BJS

"---When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!---" -----Captain Corelli's Mandolin A movie quote worth quoting and responding to. I watch people in their relationships and think, "I am so glad mine isn't as fucked up as their's." But usually, looking deeper ...

I wake up in London, I wake up in Saudi Arabia, Pacific, Mountain, and Central time, lose a day, gain a day. This is my life, and it's ending one minute at a time. I wake up at Baghdad International. If you wake up at a different time and in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? The further I travel, the tinier my world becomes. You see, when you travel, everything is small, self-contained. You get single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. Tiny blanket, disposable pillow. The people I meet on each flight -- they're single-serving friends. Between take-off and landing, we have our time together, but that's all we get. I wake up in Paris. I get out of my seat ...... As I squeeze past the person next to me, do I give them the ass or the crotch? We are defined by the choices we make, the things we buy. You buy furniture. You tell yourself: "This is the last sofa I'll ever need. No matter what else happens, I've got th...

C hasing the memories of what might have been seems to have its appeal as of late. Life determiners at times seem to get away from the scope of reality and join board of the utterly ridiculous. Sure curve balls come our way and we need to adjust as they arrive, but must we alter our lives because of said determiners? Need we bask in the glory of the past to live in our present and our future? Certainly we need to be aware of the states we have crossed in earlier segments of life, but need they be the sole reason to live our future? I have annotated in my past the times when life just wasn't in a neat stockpile. In fact, one could say it was in disarray at best. I knew at those times there was nothing that could be done to cure the disorganization, yet I searched for the ability to change things, and even got so discouraged decided that it wasn't even worth it anymore. Granted most of these issues in my life were relationship-centric topics, but nonetheless ...

S tanding alone looking at the reflection of one I don't recognize anymore T he idleness of the hand traces my features in total confusion O nce a human with a soul, with a conscious L ost in the complexity of complete anguish E mptiness, vastness...completely devoid of any emotion N ever before was there this hole that peers through my heart I mages of truth and virtue weaken the soldier M anaging to get this abandoned body to walk again A nger and disappointment is all that was left of the shell of the person G entle nights with loved ones have been long forgotten E ternal darkness, and destitute is what lays ahead S erenity: forever to be lost in the misfortune of catastrophe. ---BJS

Falling... Dying... Seeing... Being... What's love for? Humiliation? Contemplation? Admiration? Or is it all for a show? Let a lonely soul know before he eats his heart One should know why one must...why one must push Pushin' towards the edge As a lemming.. striving for the ledge.. Living life, tasting death, feeling love course through my veins Fleeting moments Lonely life... heartfelt talks... Cuts like a knife Pushing on....carrying weight Cannot wait Feeling threats No worries...life ends Dramatic for some Poetic for others... ---BJS

I just want to yell to the world, "Fuck you!" I just want to yell to myself, "Fuck you!" I just want to yell at others, "Fuck you!" Sadness and unhappiness seems to follow me wherever I go. I can't seem to shake its tail. I am getting fully saturated with the idea of thinking life is unhappy, yet it keeps following me like a shadow. It's seems to be in my every step, around every corner I turn. It seems to particularly like my company, unfortunately, I don't dig it so much. I've been trained in evasive maneuvers, I've been trained to confront unhappiness and kill it with kindness. Why is it so resilient to my antics and ways of avoiding it? Certainly, there are those out there that don't mind its company. I'm not one of them. I say say, "Piss on unhappiness, and its ways." However, it doesn't seem to care what I think or say. Perhaps things will shed a new light of darkness on me soon. Perhaps it won...