Love is not breathless nor exciting...sometimes it's seemingly useless
"---When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!---" -----Captain Corelli's Mandolin
A movie quote worth quoting and responding to.
I watch people in their relationships and think, "I am so glad mine isn't as fucked up as their's." But usually, looking deeper into it, my relationships seem to be. The temporary madness of meeting someone is exhilarating and very full of passion. Many times things look similar to both parties and then over time look different to one of them. People grow apart. They get to know the other and then feel all that they said earlier is no longer factual anymore. Many times it seems one grows apart whilst the other is growing closer. This is when heartbreak sets in. One has stop fantasizing about the essence of the other and the other falls further and further into the other's web. "Where did the love go, when did it go wrong, how come I didn't recognize it?" These are often inquired when it becomes apparent to the "loving one" that they are no longer loved.
Then the obvious course of denial sets in and they work so hard to win the admiration and dreams of their togetherness again. They start compromising themselves in hopes to prove their sincerity. Is this a good idea? In theory, yes. But in reality it doesn't usually seem to pan out. Efforts put forth seem to be fruitless, pain and tears are shed. Passion fails. Intimacy evades.
This is all the suffering and agony that we as people put ourselves through just to feel that eventually with someone it'll all turn out right, and because with your partner your roots are so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. It's not a path I've found to be particularly easy, nor even worthwhile at times, but yet I strive to find it.
It's the claimed "I've never been so happy until I met you," falsities; the constant 'starting overs'; the perpetual abyss of insincere truths that are disconcerting. But still we trudge forward willing to endure the above in hopes to find the one which our roots will forever be as one.
---BJS
A movie quote worth quoting and responding to.
I watch people in their relationships and think, "I am so glad mine isn't as fucked up as their's." But usually, looking deeper into it, my relationships seem to be. The temporary madness of meeting someone is exhilarating and very full of passion. Many times things look similar to both parties and then over time look different to one of them. People grow apart. They get to know the other and then feel all that they said earlier is no longer factual anymore. Many times it seems one grows apart whilst the other is growing closer. This is when heartbreak sets in. One has stop fantasizing about the essence of the other and the other falls further and further into the other's web. "Where did the love go, when did it go wrong, how come I didn't recognize it?" These are often inquired when it becomes apparent to the "loving one" that they are no longer loved.
Then the obvious course of denial sets in and they work so hard to win the admiration and dreams of their togetherness again. They start compromising themselves in hopes to prove their sincerity. Is this a good idea? In theory, yes. But in reality it doesn't usually seem to pan out. Efforts put forth seem to be fruitless, pain and tears are shed. Passion fails. Intimacy evades.
This is all the suffering and agony that we as people put ourselves through just to feel that eventually with someone it'll all turn out right, and because with your partner your roots are so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. It's not a path I've found to be particularly easy, nor even worthwhile at times, but yet I strive to find it.
It's the claimed "I've never been so happy until I met you," falsities; the constant 'starting overs'; the perpetual abyss of insincere truths that are disconcerting. But still we trudge forward willing to endure the above in hopes to find the one which our roots will forever be as one.
---BJS
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